CREASES AND FOLDS

"I am too alone in the world, and yet not alone enough
to make every hour holy.

I am too small in the world, and yet not tiny enough
just to stand before you like a thing,
dark and shrewd.

I want my will, and I want to be with my will
as it moves towards deed;

and in those quiet, somehow hesitating times,
when something is approaching,

I want to be with those who are wise
or else alone.

I want always to be a mirror that reflects your whole being,
and never to be too blind or too old
to hold your heavy, swaying image.

I want to unfold.

Nowhere do I want to remain folded,
because where I am bent and folded, there I am a lie.

And I want my meaning
true for you.

I want to describe myself
like a painting that I studied
closely for a long, long time,
like a word I finally understood,
like the pitcher of water I use every day ,
like the face of my mother,
like a ship
that carried me
through the deadliest storm of all."

Rainer Maria Rilke

I love Rilke's ability to create these stark visual images with his words. A recent book wove German poetry into it's narrative...what a lovely reminder of its beauty and sadness.

In the places where I am folded I am a lie...like the crease of well-read letters...the stories we tell ourselves and others to get through the day.

I am grateful for the beauty of these words, the company of wise people, the truth that I know to be myself and the courage to write a very difficult letter.